(Part 3 in How to Be Content and Single at the Same Time)
If you are to be satisfied in your singleness, you must put Jesus first. If Jesus is not first, if He is not your all, if your satisfaction is not wrapped up completely in Him, then you can just forget about having victorious singleness. You might as well get used to that lonely, sad place of unfulfilled longing, because without Him, it’s not going away.
Remember how I said this was going to cost you everything?
In order to put Jesus first, it really does cost everything. See Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, and Luke 9:23. You give up your whole life, you take up your cross, you deny yourself–or you cannot be His disciple. In exchange, however, He gives you His whole life, making it a pretty sweet trade.
So practically speaking, what does it look like to put Jesus first in the arena of singleness?
- It means to take His advice over your own to the point where you trust His leading even when it means giving something (or someone!) up.
- It means to trust His Word, follow it, keep it, and obey it. Whatever His word says, goes.
- It means to look to Him first as the source of contentment and satisfaction.
Can you join me in declaring that Jesus is better to you than a husband?
If you can joyfully proclaim this and know it to be true in your own soul, then it suggests that you are truly putting Jesus first.
If not, are you willing to believe that He can become that to you?
For many Christian singles, Jesus is real, but certainly not a substitute for a husband, much less better than one. But until you get to that place, you will not be fully content in your singleness. Like I said, it’s costly to get there, but oh, so worthwhile and beautiful.
So in your everyday walk, in your day-to-day life, evaluate whether Jesus is first.
- Does He get the best hours of your time?
- Do you delight to be with Him?
- Could you spend unlimited amounts of time in His presence if you had the chance, radiant with the enjoyment of Him?
- When you read Scripture, do you see Jesus in every page, every chapter, almost every line?
- What would your reaction be if He suddenly disappeared from your life? Would you notice the difference?
- Does a girl with a crush put you to shame when you compare how much she delights in her guy with how much you delight in Jesus?
I myself am convicted by this list. I am not as close to Him as I should be. There is always room for a deeper, more love-filled relationship with Him. But I can say that I order my life to put Him first. I take steps to reserve time with Him each day. And even the thought of Him suddenly disappearing out of my life is enough to cause me panic. (I know he will never do that. He will never leave me or forsake me. But just the “what if?” brings me a sense of the horrible darkness and misery that it would bring if it ever could happen.)
If you have not genuinely put Jesus first in your life, then don’t give a moment’s rest to your eyes until you have taken steps to die to yourself and make Him the king of your existence. If you need help to do this, try listening to this sermon. It makes a different application, but the principles for singleness are the same.
One caution: If you catch the vision for loving Jesus supremely, make sure it is for His own sake, not just as a tool to get you into a happier frame of mind regarding your singleness. Jesus is not a means to an end–HE IS the end. Delighting in Him is not a formula to get what you want–HE IS what you want. Be careful not to “use” Jesus. He is not a stepping stone to something else.
May the Lord bless your pursuit of Jesus and truly allow you to put Jesus first. May He guide your steps and grant your desires. He promises that He will fill those who are hungry and thirsty for righteousness. This is not a futile pursuit. Fix your eyes on Him by faith, and He will reveal Himself to you, flood you with His presence, dazzle you with His glory, and touch your heart with His sweetness.